'If you focus on control, you have lost the battle': how to win back your kids

From screen time to teenage rebellion, it’s easy to feel that children are slipping out of your grasp. Trusting your instincts can help

When Gabor Maté’s eldest son was eight, his angry outbursts troubled his parents so much that they took him to see the renowned developmental psychologist, Gordon Neufeld. He talked to Maté and his wife, Rae. Then he talked to their son, Daniel. And he told them, “Your son doesn’t have a problem. You do.” Instead of having “this troubled kid” on their hands, Maté and Rae needed to address their own behaviour – a revelation that was both “daunting and empowering”, Maté says.

Nearly 20 years later, Maté, an author and physician based in Vancouver, teamed up with Neufeld to write a book based on the latter’s ideas, Hold On To Your Kids : Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers. It has been translated into 15 languages and is now finally published in the UK.

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from The Guardian https://ift.tt/2Jw1WQV

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